


Things that go bump in the outhouse

by WanderingMindSR



Category: Original Work
Genre: outhouse, rodents, two dumbasses doing things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27903406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingMindSR/pseuds/WanderingMindSR
Summary: There's an outhouse in the middle of the woods. An original story by WanderingMind.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Things that go bump in the outhouse

Somewhere out in the woods is an outhouse. A wooden shack being the only manmade structure for about a mile or so. For a place where someone can take a whizz on a tree or take a dump in any given place, only having the wildlife to stumble across usually, this shack that passed as an outhouse stood out. Someone thought this would be a place of consolation for a person too shy to do it out in the open.

This is all an attempt to explain why this outhouse is out in the middle of the woods.

It's a a cold night with the fog in full effect. Peppered with this fog are the croaking of frogs and the buzzing of cicadas. Two flashlights cut through the fog, followed by the scuffling of footsteps.

"Hey Tiny, can you please shut up about having to go? Why don't you, you know, go do it out there. I won't be looking."  
"You know me, Biggun, I get nervous with these things around here."  
"What's the worst thing gonna happen to you out there, someone jump out and bite you in the ass? Just fucking do it."  
"I'll stay quiet about it."  
"I'm going to make do like a monkey soon and throw my own shit at you... oh hey look there's an outhouse for a chicken like you."  
"Fuck off, man... oh wait, you're actually right."

Amidst the ruckus from the back and forth between Tiny and Biggun crawled a meek little rat.

"Squeak, squeak" is the onomatopoeia that could be put into words here, as it scurried through woods toward the dilapidated wooden structure meant to be an outhouse. Because this outhouse was in the middle of nowhere and far removed from everything, it was more a shelter to this rat from the elements of the night than a place for people to relieve themselves among the elements. The rat liked to rest within the darkness, the smell keeping anything else away from it and the place. No unexpected guests, most of the time.

"Tiny, answer your call of nature over there!"  
"I'm on it!"

Tiny rushed off toward the outhouse, pointing his flashlight toward it. The scuffling and the slamming of the wooden door followed. Wanting to give his legs a rest, he sat down on the planks with a hole in the middle. In other words, a toilet seat.

Tiny hummed as he dropped his pants and let it whizz. The stream hit the rat, trying its best to rest within the darkness of the outhouse.

"SQUEAK!" it shouted. The rat made its irritation known.

"What was that noise?" Tiny asked himself. "Oh, probably nothing," as he went back to his own personal business.  
The remarks were loud enough for Biggun to respond with "Nice conversation you're having with yourself there?"  
"Yeah, much better than the last one I had with you!" quipped Tiny with sarcasm.

The stream hit the rat once again.

"SQUEAK SQUEAAAAAAAAAAK!"

It had enough.

"I feel better," Tiny muttered to himself was the whizzing gave way to silence. He sat on the toilet seat for a moment in relief, when he heard more squeaking noises, followed by the sound of a rodent jumping up to bite him in the ass.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tiny jumped up, pulled up his boxers, and bolted out of the outhouse.  
To the surprised look of Biggun, "What happened?"  
"It's haunted," as Tiny ran in a circle.  
"What now?"  
"THE OUTHOUSE IS HAUNTED!" as Tiny ran off still in panic.  
Biggun took a moment to process those words along with the spooked appearance of Tiny, before shouting  
"You forgot your pants, you fool!"

**Author's Note:**

> Tiny and Biggun may become recurring characters in my original stories. I enjoyed writing the dialogue for this one.


End file.
